Tyhmä Ankka Rulettaa

No voi vitun vittu

2016-10-11T22:29:00+03:00

Haha eipä tässä enää voi huonommin mennä. En saa työttömyyskorvausta ja en saa toimeentulotukea, vuokra on maksamatta, laskut maksamatta ja ruuat lopussa XD Mitähän vittua mä nyt keksin? On se siis kumma ku kaikki alko meneen hyvin siinä kuukausi kaks sitten niin ei vittu ei joku tais huomata et vittu tollahan meinaa mennä hyvin. Sillä ei oo stressiä ja se meinaa saada elämän kuntoon. Ratkaisu tähän: viedään siltä rahat ja kämppä

Viimekuussa (syyskuu) en saanu toimeentulotukea koska en ollut hakenut opiskelu paikkaa mistään (O.o <-- mun ilme) ja olin silleen ok, mä tajuun jos en saa työttömyyskorvausta koska karenssi jee! mut mitä vittua se toimeentulotuki liittyy tähän mitenkään? ja hain nyt tänään uudestaan toimeentulotukea (otin koiran mukaan :P) ja kuulen et ne on tehny päätöksen jonka mukaan mä saan 150 euroa. MIETTIKÄÄ! 150 vitun euroa ei vitsi! ja olin sille naiselle (oikeen mukava nainen) et en mä pysty maksamaan mun vuokraa sillä ja et mulla on karenssi työttömyyskorvauksesta ja ne oli silleen ''auts''.

Mut joo mulla ei oo tän kuun vuokraa maksettu ja ennen tätä kuuta mä oon maksanu mun vuokran 2 viikkoa aikasemmin ku pitäis. Näyttää vähän siltä et mä oon joutumassa kodittomaks et ei vitsi! Just näin talven alla vielä XD no eiköhän se viina yöllä pidä lämpimänä ja päivällä se sossun toimisto <3 No pääsepähän lehteen sitten kans :P kattoo nyt mitä ne sieltä vastaa et jos ei rahaa tuu niin pitää irtisanoa kämppä ja mennä sinne sossun toimistoon silleen ''hellouuuu. oisko sulla evästä mukana?''

Ai niin äidillekään ei voi mennä ku se asuu kolmiossa kahen kersan, kahen koiran ja kahen kissan kaa jo joten.... mulle ei oikeesti oo tilaa siellä. Plus isä on vähän niinku kuollu joten... sen luo ei oikeen voi mennä (ellei kuole)

Sori taas. Piti päästää vähän ulos näitäkin höyryjä :P

Peace I'm out!

Suunta hukassa

2016-09-17T16:27:00+03:00

Heippa taas. Mä täällä vaan kirjottelen vähän tän hetkisestä tilanteesta missä mä oon.

Eli asun omassa kämpässä mun koiran ja kissan kanssa. En opiskele tällä hetkellä mitään ja oon työtön. Aika huono yhdistelmä nää kaikki. Mä en voi ees lähtee opiskeleen tällä hetkellä kun rahat ei tuli riittään asuntoon, kouluun ja elämiseen. Meinaan et mä en voi asua asuntolassa kun mulla on kissa ja koira joita mä en voi jättää kenellekään, ja opintotuen/opintovelan summa on niin pieni ettei niistä oo mitään apua. Eli tällä hetkellä mä en ees uskalla hakea tai lähteä opiskelemaan.

Mutta töihin. Niin mut minne? Vähän hukassa miten haen, mistä haen, mikä ihmeen CV? Ja onko sitten sama että jäisin kotiin työttömänä kun näin lukiosta valmistuneena ku saan sen minimi palkan minne ikinä mä meen. Eiks se näin oo? En mä halua olla työtön mutta ku ihan maalaisjärjellä miettii et teen töitä ja saan vähemmän rahaa ku työttömänä niin kumman siitä sitten valitsis? Siis jos sulla on kaksi työpaikkaa mihin pääsisit niin kumman ottaisit? Sen jossa on pienempi palkka? Et jos töihin menisin niin tienata pitäis about 1500 et siinä ois mitään järkeä. 8 tuntia päivä, 6 päivää viikossa... 48 tuntia. Eli 1500 jaettuna 48 = 31.25 jaettuna 4 = 7.8125. Toi siis pitäis olla mun tunti palkka vähintään jotta pärjäisin.Näitä asioita mulla pyörii päässä. Numeroita ja se et miten mä pärjään.

Jos elämän laatu ei parane siitä et tekee töitä niin miks tekis töitä? Ok no onhan se palkka parempi kun on opiskellu ammatin itselleen, mut entä sellanen henkilö joka ei voi lähteä opiskelemaan koska ei oo varaa mitä sitten? Mä en voi luopua mun lemmikeistä koska ne on luultavasti ainut asia mikä pitää mut jotenkuten kasassa. Niitten takia mä meen ulos ja vaivaudun ees miettimään et menisin opiskelemaan, hakemaan töitä, jotain. Et mulle elukoista luopuminen on sama ku mä luovuttaisin. Ainut syy miksi mä luopuisin niistä on se et mulla ei ois varaa ruokkia niitä, mut tällä hetkellä me pärjätään ja niitten ruoka ja hyvinvointi on mun listalla #1. Joten mä en oo lupumassa niistä.

Huh huh. Tulipa purettua mietteitä taas. Tosin ei vieläkään hajua mitä mä tekisin :)

I'm back again! :3

2016-02-24T12:34:00+02:00

So how's it going everyone? Did you have nice Christmas? I hope you celebrated New Year appropiate way.... by getting drunk! Wooo! I'm kidding geez XD But hope everyone had fun and had a great-terrible hangover :P

Anyways back again with no clue what I'm gonna do with my life. Taking some course called ''office work and financial management''. I'm actually pretty excited about this course cause I like playing with numbers.

Sooo.... hmmm... what else, what else...

Well having great time (if you dont count that I'm out of money ;__;) but also kinda unsecure about stuff. So basically life. But that's about it. No weird stuff about how life sucks or how life is awesome...

Oh! Wait! I got a dog! I'll put his picture on next article or whatever o.o

Bye! (and sorry that this is so short)

Hamanahamanahamanahamana

2015-12-06T15:19:00+02:00

Sorry, I have no idea what to call this article, well I never do. I always just write what comes in to my mind. But yeah (my most used phrase/words)

So, I'm kinda feeling bad and really unsecure after a talk I had with my friend 4-5 days ago and other stuff. She told me that she really misses one of our friend that we haven't been in contact that much cause there was some drama going on and everything was so messy and weird. But the point is that our group kinda split up. So we were talking and yeah I've been missing that friend too but the things my friend said, idk, those kinda hurt. She said that she never been so close to anyone and that that friend was the only one she could talk about stuff. And I felt hurt (I know it's not fair) cause I thought that she was my best friend and now I feel like we are just friends. I suddenly feel like I can't tell her everything. Also, now they are talking to each other and they are close friends again. Which is great. I just... idk... I'm afraid I guess, afraid that I will be left behind. That they don't need me, well if you think about it they don't need me. So yeah, I guess I will see what happens in the future and I either cry about it here or I just put some pictures of my cat here :P

Oh, one good news.... I graduated!! Wooo!! But that's about it.

Have a nice day :)

Strength and life

2015-11-30T22:07:00+02:00

Umm... If you have read my other writings you know that my dad is dead. And I've told that to my closest friend and well my other friend find out when my mom told her -.-' stupid mom. I didn't want that person to know about that. But anyway I have this one online friend that I met 1-2 months ago on online and he's ok. But yeah this one time we were video calling on skype and I was getting drunk. On purpose of course. And thanks to my other stupid online friend I got really upset. And thanks to alcohol I cried. And I end up telling to the friend that I was calling that it's just annoys me and makes me sad that people think that when you say you are ok or "I'm fine" they think you are fine. And also why people say that they are fine if they are not? But I know why people do that. Why I do that. I wish someone would notice it. And I would know that there is someone who actually cares so much that she or he notices when I'm not ok even if I say I'm fine. But back to the point. So I cried in front of someone I barely knew. And I dont even cry in front of my family (least I try no to). But he just listened to me and (starting to cry again) one thing I remember him saying was that "everything happens for a reason" and "life doesn't throw something on you that you cant handle. You are stronger than you give yourself credit. "

That is actually how I think too. Even before I met him or before he said it... I just had forgtten it. I gpt lost but the first time it (so far in my life) it seems there was someone there for me. Showing me the way, (oh god I'm crying again).

So really that is what I wanted to say is that you are stronger than you think... if you think that you are strong: you are even stronger. And those who have the strength, please show the way to those who get lost and forget how strong they are.

But that's all for tonight. Goodnight and stay strong and happy :D

Hello once again blank page

2015-11-25T10:33:00+02:00

So I haven't been writing anything lately cause motivation ZERO and cause been really unmotivated and stressing will I graduate and been depressed... ok, not depressed. It's not depression if it last only 2-7 days or whatever. But was doing some school work and ended up writing some shit, actually pretty positive shit, that made me... idk... happy? relaxed? Well anyway... here's what I wrote

I don't think there's much I can do to cheer myself up or keep me happy. I think I just have to live my life so I can be happy. Wait that others make me happy. And while I wait, I will try my best to cheer my friends and make them smile.

You know how they say "tomorrow never comes"? Everyday there's a new tomorrow. Everyday there's new future. Future changes but never comes and that's why I think tomorrow, or rather the future, doesn't matter. Just living one day at a time with those who you care about.

Well that was it... now back to work and then school and then to gym... and maybe I will take few pictures- nevermind -.-' the weather is horrible.

So to someone who might read this... HAVE A NICE DAY!! :D (capslock cause it was the most important thing to read)

Why? Just... why? ;__;

2015-09-20T22:19:00+03:00

Argh... I thought that when you have guys as your friends there would be no drama. Haha... how wrong was I. And btw how dare men say that women are difficult and hard to understand when MEN doesn't say anything if something is bothering them.

Now I'm going through another drama scene here when my guy friend doesn't answer to me in Skype -.-' I haven't done anything! Or atleast I don't remember saying anything to make him upset. Ok maybe one thing but that was just that I didn't tell who this other guy friend is. But that just ridiculous and I don't think that would be the reason to not answer me. I should propably just ask him but how to ask when he doesn't reply? *sighs* men...

Now I will be thinking this whole mess and can't concentrate to my matriculation examination ;__; so yeah thanks "friend".

And btw usually when this guy is busy he usually at some point notices my mesages and says he was busy.

Well, I hope people have better luck than I have :P hopefully much less drama.

Like a TON less drama.

Dramaless/Dramatless day... not life... suffer like I suffer!! XD

Deep shit time #1

2015-09-01T21:45:00+03:00

Sometimes you might feel like shit. Like you are not worth anything. That you can't do the things that you are supposed to do. Maybe you wonder why you even exist. Are you scared of death? If you die anyway why to see effort to accomplish something?

I myself often get these dark thoughts in my mind and I also start to think what my friends might think about me. And when I try to look at myself at that moment, when I only see bad things about myself, it aint pretty. I end up crying and hoping that I would just die. And then I realize that I'm so big coward that I can't even take my own life. Yeah, dark thoughts. But that isn't me. I'm stronger than that. My father died, I have been alone, I still am kind of, but even if people, my family and my friends think that I'm stupid, dumb or childish, I know that it's a lie. It's all a act. So my friends and my family didn't have to feel themselves any less than they are. I know how much it hurts so I try my best to be that guy that people can look at and say "least I'm better than her". Because it's enough that I know that I can do what ever I want to. When I just put effort in things I can do pretty amazing things. I know I can :) And I'm sure there are people that can do it too. Like you are doing bad at school? Just take the book and read. Make notes that looks great and makes you happy... even if you write only one sentence but you remember it, that is something. I can't get top grades from history even if I studied really hard but it's ok. Cause there are subjects that I'm so much better and I will put more effort in them. Be good in what you are good at and dont worry too much. It's hard but give all and even if you didn't do so good so what? It doesn't make you any dumber or lesser than others. It just means that you have to put more effort to it. I'm not good at biology either but I'm determined that I'll become a vet. Cause I can't see myself doing anything else. And I'm gonna do everything in my power to get to that goal.

So everyone... Do your best! I know you can do it! It just might take some time but nothing is impossible... maybe highly unlikely but never impossible.

What to talk/write about

2015-08-24T19:25:00+03:00

So I've been thinking... well not really thinking cause then I would have a topic to write about but anyway, I really should try to think something idk important to write about cause I think that usually people have their own thing going on... but idk I'm not really sure about anything :P I thought I might try to write a book of some kind? At least try how it works out and if I can concentrate on one thing more than an hour xD

But to a more important things... I might get eaten by flies o.o there's so many in our apartment. I should probable wash the floor and windows... might help. It looks actually quite scary when there's like dozens of those mini flies ready to eat you. Well at least flying in front of your face when you are watching youtube videos or writing or doing anything >:( grrrr those flies

And again to a different topic.... see? I cant even write too long about one thing XD.... but I was about to say that...

umm....

FREAKING FLY GO AWAY!!! D:<

so yeah I was saying....

That's it for today. Have a great day and eat something good and take care of yourself

wtf I'm still babbling about... geez

BYE!!!! :D

Long time no writing?

2015-08-21T20:50:00+03:00

It's been awhile when I last time wrote here something so I guess this is an update.

So I've been kinda busy cause school and matriculation examination (not sure that's the right term but whatever) that are starting in three weeks. I kinda got really stressed out and I couldn't do anything. And I mean ANYTHING. I couldn't study or do my homeworks. I kinda started to feel like I couldn't do it. That I couldn't pass the examinations especially biology cause I haven't study that too much. And it was so bad that I was more than once close to cry in class. But I'm better now and I'm not stressed anymore. At least not as badly as earlier. My only problem now is that I dont know how to study. I haven't been studying like in five years so I kinda have forgotten how to do it. It would be probably easier if I just started and didn't think too much :P

Oh and I made a new friend. Yay! A guy o.o again... tho he thought I was a dude. Aaand I thought that he was girl so we are even now I guess xD So this has nothing to do if I'm a girl or if he is dude.

And other things about my other friend... the one I loved. Love or whatever. @.@ but he has now a girlfriend but we are good friends and it's ok. I guess. It doesn't hurt when I dont think it so much :) Oh god. I'm thinking it >.<

But anyways everything pretty much ok and life going on. I'm making it to go on :D I even went last sunday to my dads grave for the first time in 7 months and 3 weeks. Last time I was there it was in the funerals so yay I guess xD

I know things can be pretty hard and things can be really messy but I'm pretty sure you can fix things. And you dont have to fix it in the most complicated way. Sometimes it's just good to just stop for a second, write your thoughts down and then, if you feel like it, go on. :) But not in the suicidal way or death way O.O just keep living and smiling. That's what I tried to say, I guess. Sorry. Trying too hard xD